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April 18, 2004

Europe Makes the Right Call

he.jpgI think Europe definitely made the right call, turning down bin Laden's 'if you don't attack me this turn, I won't attack you this turn' offer. Sure, with Europe controlling Europe, Europe is entitled to 5 extra armies a turn. Osama does not control a continent - won't any time soon - so is just looking to pick up a country, probably the Middle East, thereby getting a Risk card. Maybe then he'll turn in cards, if he's got 'em, and attack North America, although he's got to fight all the way to Kamchatka just to have a shot at Alaska. Anyway, in all the confusion Europe might manage to retake Africa for the first time since 1945. But I think Europe is right not to trust this man. Perhaps this is only my painful recent experience talking.

Seriously, wasn't this one of the weirdest diplomatic overtures in a long time? On the other hand, maybe my way of looking at it solves the whole 'why'd we invade if there weren't any WMDs?' puzzle. The neocons were just looking to pick up an easy Risk card right from the start. The Midde-East was not strongly defended, and it's not like you have to hold the thing.

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» The Hasbro Doctrine from Snarkmarket
McSweeney's has an open letter to the neocons: Why didn't you tell President Bush to invade Western Australia first? I've been playing Risk: The Game of Global Domination since I was eight years old and never, never have I... [Read More]

» The Hasbro Doctrine from Snarkmarket
McSweeney's has an open letter to the neocons: Why didn't you tell President Bush to invade Western Australia first? I've been playing Risk: The Game of Global Domination since I was eight years old and never, never have I... [Read More]

Comments

I thought it bizarre and a mistake for the governments to even answer it.

If a public response was required, I would have suggested having the lowest-ranking member of the foreign service -- say, one of the janitors -- brought out before the media to tear up the telegram and then to sweep it up into a can.

The bizarrest part of everything about bin Laden to me is that powers that be still insist on thinking of him as if he were something like a diplomat or warrior/soldier instead of what he is: a criminal. A very evil, very powerful criminal. His "case" should not be handled by politicians or, for that matter, armies but should rather be pursued by whatever agencies investigate international crime. Silently and without collateral damage in places like Iraq. But that's a whole other issue...

I agree with David: Europe (if there is such a thing as an entity in place of the grouping of disparate countries made up of even more disparate people that Europe is) should not have had politicians respond in any form or fashion.

did responses happen because political leaders of various countries rushed to their podiums in order to say no to this idea, or did responses happen because someone asked them about it and they made replies in the habit of democratic governments?


If we decide to think of him like a criminal it seems to me that he would call to mind the idea of the great criminal of much mid-period Western fiction, a mastermind stand-in for Satan, implacable, with the power to affect governments and alter the course of history, such as Chesterton used to write of.

I don't think that calling this figure to mind, who was generally anti-heroic but not necessarily villainous, is altogether helpful.


bryan, I do not mean anything as literary as a Chesterton character, I don't even mean anyone made palatable by popular fiction like an Agatha Christie character from the Tom and Tuppence series. I wish. They could be dealt with by lovable counter-villains like Poirot or Tuppence, with everything falling into place neatly at the end of the story like in a completed puzzle...

No such luck in real life. The kind of criminal I mean is quite sordid and prosaic - leaders of drug cartels, weapon smuggling organizations and the like, individuals whose actions break the laws of so many countries that international police action is taken against them. They are also not disconnected from terrorism by any stretch of the imagination. And also in the habit of posing as political leaders - if nothing else, self-appointed "saviors" of small countries (then again, political leaders often behave like criminals - so the difference may be a matter of perspective...) For that matter, the fallen dictators of former parts of Yugoslavia also fall into this category, and they were denounced as criminals.

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