Ogged links to this depressing NYT magazine article about the culture of "hooking up" among teens. Ogged seems to think it's depressing for more or less the reason commenter baa brings up: "kids are getting an anomie-laden introduction to sex". I don't think that's the problem. For teenage boys, I think lots of commitment-free oral sex has got to be the single greatest leap forward in male-female teen interaction history. Why? Because teenage boys are both incredibly horny and socially incompetent. The problem is this:
While many girls insist they receive sexual attention during hookups, just as many boys say hookups are mostly about pleasing the guy. Michael Milburn, professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, Boston, and co-author of the book ''Sexual Intelligence,'' an examination of sexual beliefs and behaviors in America, says that the boys' take is more accurate. ''Most of the time, it's the younger girl performing fellatio on the older boy, with the boy doing very little to pleasure the girl,'' Milburn says. Some girls told me that guys think it's ''nasty'' to perform oral sex on a girl. So a lot of girls will just perform oral sex on the guy ''and not expect anything in return, because she'll know that he probably thinks it's gross,'' Irene told me. But her friend Andi pointed out that many girls are themselves insecure about receiving oral sex; they'd rather just have intercourse.
Look, if a guy thinks it would be "nasty" to go down on you, then he shouldn't be getting any oral sex from you, at all, ever. If you're not comfortable with a guy going down on you, then you don't want to have an orgasm, and thus you don't want to have sex. Period. End. Of. Story. If letting some guy just show up at your house so you can suck his dick is empowering, then I'm Henry Kissinger.