Special Olympics

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, well, there's that Virgin Ben guy, and Greatest Jeneration, but probably young conservatives aren't unusually stupid. Think of all the dumbass, no-blood-for-oil Ohgr fans out there (Majik is a powerful song, dude). Think again, people. I give you Ryan Thompson:

While doing some shopping for college over the last month, I have noticed some disturbing trends in fashion along with the usual attempts to erode morality from our culture. I am not a believer in conspiracy theories, but it’s clear as crystal that the social issues of the day are being driven by fashion designers and the decadence of Hollywood. So what are examples the attempts to morally erode our society? The yearly decline of fabric on female garments and the feminization of male clothing are a pair of examples to fit my determination.

Most of the people who know me have heard my positions on why females are “special” in a moral sense. I always like to make the comparison between females and their angelic existence in the eyes of God. Of course not all females act angelic; if they all did we would not have to discuss this issue. Part of understanding their “special” traits is having knowledge the sacredness of the female body. Overexposing the female body undermines the “special” factor and most fashions today do this without a second thought....

Males should not wear pink. In modern history, the color pink has been reserved for females, and it has fit nicely with their angelic existence. Males did not wear the color pink because of this. If you walk into clothing store today, around half the clothes in the male section are pink. The traditionalist that I am is deeply bothered by this trend for two reasons. First, I think that there is a movement afoot to undermine the idea masculinity. Second, more disturbingly, it is a sign of the pop culture’s attempt to erase the “equal but different” philosophy. These movements are united the dream of having a society where the sexes lack distinct responsibilities. Once the idea of distinct responsibilities is plundered, the objective of the feminists and militant gays will be achieved. Their movements cannot exist in their true form in a society that recognizes “equal but different” in regards to the roles of males and females.

These are the two clearest methods of the fashion world trying to corrupt our culture. Their attempt may not be obvious to the untrained eye, but for those who observe these trends it is pretty clear what’s going on. Eliminating the “special” status of females, emasculating male traits, and blurring the role of the sexes are their goals. Remember tradition and stand firm in its defense even when buying clothes. Most importantly, respect yourself and the others around you.

I know it's not funny to mock retarded people. I just couldn't help myself. I blame The Dark Window for making me read this. (He does ask for forgiveness, though: "if I really respected myself and those around me I wouldn't be reading articles at the Rant and then sharing them. Please forgive me.") You can also learn about Ryan's foreign-policy idea here at Sadly, No! (Hint: it involves uniting the Anglosphere.) The sad thing is, now that I know about The Rant ("a common-sense news issues magazine with an admittedly conservative slant": current headline: Will History Repeat Itself--Again?), I'm going to go there all the time, just like with the accursed Corner. Yes, yes, I have talked to my therapist about self-destructive behavior

Comments

[baa]

As grampa Simpson says: "I'm not allowed newspapers, they angry up the blood!"

For young conservatives, you would be better served reading Eve Tushnet or Ben Domenech.

[PZ Myers]

When everything is as wrong as that piece, it gets to a point where the facts simply don't matter anymore...but I thought I'd mention this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3548904.stm

'Pink was a boy's colour while blue was thought better for girls - a "generally accepted rule" according to The Ladies Home Journal in 1918, which described pink as "more decided and stronger" while blue was "more delicate and dainty".'

I blame the decadence of the Roaring 20s and the Weimar Republic for perversion of bedecking our pure, angelic young ladies in that manly pink, while so poisoning the minds of our youth that they think that is the natural order.

[Kip Manley]

Specifically, Nellie Bly was known as "Pink" growing up, because she was such a tomboy.

[ogged]

Are we sure it's not a parody site?

[Brey]

I sometimes worry about fashion trends myself. I think a lot of clothes are meant to make people into sexual objects - especially women (i.e. the difference between men's and women's beach volleyball outfits). But, hey, it's not like people have to wear those outfits. There are still plenty of loose fitting t-shirts and jeans to put on. So, (even though marketing has a role here) people are choosing to wear skin tight and scantily clad clothes. I suppose this idiot believes those people are on the Highway to Hell. Poor little angels.

[IF]

I find this statement, "the objective of the feminists and militant gays will be achieved", to be particularly offensive. It speaks of "militant gays" as though there were some class of gays that are not militant. And what exactly is the writers position on the militanticity of the feminists? It is well-known that after all the straight people are eliminated the feminists and gays are going to go a-warring against each other.

And then the gays will send an evil, but incredibly buff, Truman Capote android into the past to kill to kill the future leader of the feminist rebellion only to have Ellen Degeneres -- after equivocating over whose side to take in the conflagration, Ellen, leader of the Lesbian Counter-Gay Insurgency, choses to side with the feminists because if the gays kill all the feminists, then the lesbians are SOL -- destroy the incredibly buff Truman Capote Android and save the future and stuff.

[DJW]

"Most of the people who know me have heard my positions on why females are “special” in a moral sense."

Those of us who don't know Ryan Thompson should think about this for a minute and be thankful for small favors. In those dark times when nothing seems to be going your way, you can always take solace in the fact that you'll almost certainly never have to hear Ryan Thompson explain why females are "special" (do you think he does air quotes when he explains it?) in the moral sense.

[bryan]

i bet he has some cool theories as to why they are 'special' in the retarded sense as well.

[spacetoast]

My favorite part is his claim that "If you walk into a clothing store today, around half the clothes in the male section are pink." Anyway, I think a pink shirt looks fine with a white blazer and slacks.

[Keith]

What the bloody blue hell is the Anglosphere? It sounds pointy. Like it might draw blood.

[belle]

Keith, it's meant to refer to nations in which english is spoken. Unless they're in Africa or something, in which case, no. It's like the Super Friends for white people.

[baa]

Form of: Earl Grey Tea!

But seriously, just because it is a Superfriends for white people doesn't mean it isn't a) a real entity, b) sociologically and politically relevant, and c) wicked cool. Also, white the French go for lime green, it takes an anglosphere protestant to pull off pink.

[Rod]

Just imagine how popular is this guy going to be on campus. Or trying to pick up a girl ("You're special. Want to know why?") Hilarious!

Belle - tnx so much for posting this. I'm having to work on my birthday, but this cheered me right up.

[Des von Bladet is still twitching]

I misread "Jeneration" as "Jenaration" and - wired as I am for neo-Hegelianisme - clicked through before I could stop myself.

Oh dear.

[Matt Weiner]

Jennie Taliaferro of the Greatest Jeneration doesn't tell us anything about the intelligence of young conservatives, because she was born in 1956. She only writes like she's 12.

(Bow down before my brain's ability to retain useless crap! Bow, I say!)

[PZ Myers]

Hey, 1956 is still young (says I, born in 1957).

[dsquared]

I've always been very much in favour of "uniting the Anglosphere", because once the 59 million British had been brought into the USA (with, presumably, commensurate amount of electoral votes), any candidate that got the support of us plus California, New York and Illinois would be pretty much able to tell the rest of the States to fuck off.

[baa]

No, D Squared, we'll stick you all in New York and California, just like now.

[Mr. Burns]

Smithers, who is that radical free thinker in the pink shirt?

[ajay]

D: I've always been very much in favour of "uniting the Anglosphere", because once the 59 million British had been brought into the USA (with, presumably, commensurate amount of electoral votes), any candidate that got the support of us plus California, New York and Illinois would be pretty much able to tell the rest of the States to fuck off.

And we all support a state-provided universal health care system! And we're almost all pro-choice! Even our rabidly fringe right-wing politicians make the DLC look like the AEI! And barely any of us go to church! And we trade with Cuba! And almost the entire population would support a bill mandating that George Bush be ground up into a fine powder and sold as fish food! And that's not counting the Irish, who, after all, speak English too, and are (if anything) even further left! We have Muslims in government! We have judges so liberal they make your ears bleed! We have the tightest gun control laws in the known universe! We even have knife control laws!

Oh yes, this Anglosphere thing definitely has legs. And so, let me get this straight - given that the US is at present more or less 50-50, that would mean that in a "unified Anglosphere" we would get to pick the president every single time. And that, in turn would mean that no demented Republican would ever be president again.
Plus, we now know where we went wrong the last time. You won't get rid of us that easily. Mem.: must have stronger garrison in New York.

[Paul]

Why does Ryan look like Edward G. Robinson in that picture? According to this cache of americandaily.com, Ryan is a student at Carmichaels Area High School. I can't pick him out of that lineup, though. Maybe he was locked in a locker on that day.

Stop press correction! When he's not being a domestic soldier against the threat of liberalism, Ryan is a varsity member of the Carmichael Senior High Academic League.

Ok, I'll quit now.

[Jay]

Old blog with a lack of knowledge of history. Pink shirts were the craze [short lived] of most of the teenage boys in 1955-1956. We had never heard of a gay agenda or a feminist agenda. We just thought the shirts were cool. The important thing was the teenage girls thought so to. Who cares about an agenda when one is trying to impress a member of the fairer sex.

[Matt Weiner]

Ben Domenech

Oh, baa, baa, baa....