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May 14, 2004



Mock apple pie is still a mainstay of our family occasions. There are worse things.

One of the sorrows of my middle-aged existence is that I so successfully repressed the memory of an a much more nightmarish "mock" something that was once served at a family reunion in my late twenties, and now I'm curious as to what it might have been. On the other hand, one of the sorrows of my old age is likely to be that memory's vivid return.


I wasn't sure that the recipe lore on display offered much in the way of "white trashy" credentials, but the use of "nasty-ass" did. I don't think I've heard a lady use that phrase since Mindy the Generator Mechanic stole my heart while I was a young operations NCO at Ft. Bragg. Memories. When she flicked her cigarette, it was like a tungsten round blowing through my heart, leaving nothing but a body-cavity-evacuating void.

Past that, if you can score a copy of the authentic Elvis Presley Family Cookbook (by Uncle Vesper), you're in for a treat: fried peanut butter n' banana sammiches, 16 icecream dessert ("some days," adds the helpful historical note, "this is all Elvis would eat all day,") and the usual invitations to early death perched atop the toilet you see in cooking from down there.

Anyhow, recommended reading. His list of favorite Fanta beverages (which seems to include the entire Fanta catalog) shows that Elvis was a man of true emotional range.


Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches are delicious, although I prefer mine less sweet than Elvis's. Mostly nowadays I just slice bananas on top of peanut butter on toast. The little golden disks are pretty, the peanut butter doesn't stick to your mouth, and the combination's delicious. If the bananas aren't ripe enough, drizzle a little honey over the peanut butter first.

Think of it as a cracker version of black beans and plantains.

Belle Waring

Mmmm, you know what's even better (and equally Elvis-approved)? Peanut-butter and bacon sandwiches.


Of course margarine is evil, bad and wrong. It's fake, like the administration. "I Can't Believe There's No WMDs!"

If nothing else, had Marlon Brando said "Pass the margarine" in "Last Tango in Paris," audiences would have laughed their asses off, totally destroying a tender moment.

Mitch Mills

A good friend and former roommate of mine had a real fondness for, wait for it, grilled peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. His grandmother used to make them for him when he was a kid and he continued this culinary tradition into adulthood. I haven't had the heart to check whether he feeds these to his kids now.

I once got drunk enough to try one, and it's actually not as bad as it sounds. Never had one since though . . .

Years later I saw a recipe for same in The White Trash Cookbook under the name "No Stick Peanute Butter Sandwiches".

jim in austin

Toasted peanut butter and pickle sandwiches over here. And don't forget white cornbread crumbled up in a glass of buttermilk and eaten with a spoon. Deep Georgia cracker cuisine...

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