« Why do you fellows pull this stunt? | Main | Promoting Peaceful National Reunification--The Military Way! »

March 14, 2005


Russell Arben Fox

Good response, Belle. I figure that manners can only be taught by reptition and example; it's taxing, constantly having to correct one's kids when they're being mean or cruel or foolish, but there's no way around it.

Yesterday was Caitlyn's birthday; she turned five. Caitlyn has regularly been our morose, depressed child, which is really kind of funny (if exhausting) in a preschooler. "Caitlyn, did you like your party?" "No. The cake was dry. I didn't get anything I wanted. Nothing has gone right. You didn't plan a good party." Etc., etc. We love her, but I admit she gets sent to her room for an attitude adjustment pretty regularly.

Anthony Smith

Wow, I'm sorry about that.

Shortly after my parents got divorced my Dad and Grandpa taught me that my mom "was a bitch," and that I should tell her. I didn't know what that word meant, of course, so I told my mom and she bawled her eyes out.

She still tells me that story today.


It's good to learn a workable response to "I hate you, Mommy" now, if you haven't already. The first time I heard it from my ?five-year-old son, I bawled my eyes out. Boy, did THAT guarantee a quick repeat. Quick thinker that I am, the next time I just said, "I'm really sorry to hear that, because I love _you_ very much. Well, maybe you'll change your mind someday." Having expected a repeat performance, the crestfallen look on his face was worth a thousand spankings and time-outs, and he never said it again. And now I'm a child therapist (really :-)

Russell Arben FoxRusseRll ArbRen Fox

Geez, Anthony, what a terrible memory. Divorced parents that set their kids against one another are about as low as it gets.


Re: I hate you mommy. Sadly, you may get your own back some day. Just spent approx. a month of 12 hour days at my mom's bedside in the hospital, with many reminders of my children telling me they hated me.

Two weeks of that month Mom was delirious and believed she was being held under duress. (Some combo. of stroke after-effects, medication for seizure, UTI and being confined in bed). There were several episodes in which she demanded to go home and told all of us children that we were untrustworthy, hateful, and that she never thought she'd see us do such terrible things to her.

I got through these periods by telling her that when we were little and told her we didn't love her, she didn't let it affect doing the things she knew were for our own good, even if it made us angry. She seemed to hear that through the delusions, at least in part.


Kudos for focusing on "ugly" as the hurtful part of the sentence and not "fat." She'll grow up to thank you for that some day. Unless, of course, she says it again and you murder her.


Congragulation on getting Mommy Nobel Peace Prize.

Jeremy Osner

That's an interesting new form of Spam.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Email John & Belle

  • he.jpgjholbo-at-mac-dot-com
  • she.jpgbbwaring-at-yahoo-dot-com

Google J&B

J&B Archives

Buy Reason and Persuasion!

S&O @ J&B

  • www.flickr.com
    This is a Flickr badge showing items in a set called Squid and Owl. Make your own badge here.

Reason and Persuasion Illustrations

  • www.flickr.com

J&B Have A Tipjar

  • Search Now:

  • Buy a couple books, we get a couple bucks.
Blog powered by Typepad

J&B Have A Comment Policy

  • This edited version of our comment policy is effective as of May 10, 2006.

    By publishing a comment to this blog you are granting its proprietors, John Holbo and Belle Waring, the right to republish that comment in any way shape or form they see fit.

    Severable from the above, and to the extent permitted by law, you hereby agree to the following as well: by leaving a comment you grant to the proprietors the right to release ALL your comments to this blog under this Creative Commons license (attribution 2.5). This license allows copying, derivative works, and commercial use.

    Severable from the above, and to the extent permitted by law, you are also granting to this blog's proprietors the right to so release any and all comments you may make to any OTHER blog at any time. This is retroactive. By publishing ANY comment to this blog, you thereby grant to the proprietors of this blog the right to release any of your comments (made to any blog, at any time, past, present or future) under the terms of the above CC license.

    Posting a comment constitutes consent to the following choice of law and choice of venue governing any disputes arising under this licensing arrangement: such disputes shall be adjudicated according to Canadian law and in the courts of Singapore.

    If you do NOT agree to these terms, for pete's sake do NOT leave a comment. It's that simple.

  • Confused by our comment policy?

    We're testing a strong CC license as a form of troll repellant. Does that sound strange? Read this thread. (I know, it's long. Keep scrolling. Further. Further. Ah, there.) So basically, we figure trolls will recognize that selling coffee cups and t-shirts is the best revenge, and will keep away. If we're wrong about that, at least someone can still sell the cups and shirts. (Sigh.)