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May 04, 2006



Yr the kitsch, Docski: that par for the course for a rad. toga-party dude like you. Ah never claimed to be HST: you don't know phuck about what I write about (start with Quine's Two Dogmas---yeah ya already got that one down) . But I like yr predictable ad populus: so typical of frat scum. As I said tough guy; mano a mano, LA-style. Yeah? A bit tres sauvage for Phi Epilson Crappa like you, but maybe you got some karate moves.


Yr the kitsch, Docski: that's par for the course for a gonzo toga-party dewd like you. Ah never claimed to be HST: you don't know phuck about what I write about (start with Quine's Two Dogmas---yeah ya already got that one down) . But I like yr predictable ad populus: so typical of frat scum. As I said tough guy; mano a mano, LA-style. Yeah? A bit tres sauvage for Phi Epilson Crappa like you, but maybe you got some karate moves.


Yr the kitsch, Docski. whirrrr, CLIK. Yr the kitsch, Docski. whirrrr, CLIK. Yr the kitsch, Docski. whirrrr, CLIK. Yr the kitsch, Docski. whirrrr, CLIK. Yr the kitsch, Docski. whirrrr, CLIK. Yr the kitsch, Docski. whirrrr, CLIK. Yr the kitsch, Docski. whirrrr, CLIK.

Doctor Memory

You have my solemn word, Phrend: the next time I am inside the 400 or so square miles of Los Angeles county, I will declaim at the top of my voice: "Let the man known alternatively as Peresozo, Phred, 818, 0101010101010101.010101(etc), dotdotdotdotdot(etc), phrumius (etc) (etc) (etc) take the field of honor and throw down old-school style!" No doubt furious battle will commence immediately, and poets for generations to come will sing of our epic struggle.

You begin, I hope, to see the dimensions of problem. The, dare I say it, ridiculousness of the situation. A threat is only credible when it comes from a person. Your names may be legion, but that doesn't make you an angry mob. Quite the opposite, in fact.



chinga tu madres, phrat boys.



Phuck! Ah'm rendered obsolete.


Pheel phree to add yr own. Ah'm partial to those which come from his own lips, puto, but what the phuck, if yr able to do a phair-lee good impesonation and not some grovelling flunkie bag of human excrement, have at it.


Ah meant my own lips. Damn, barely two and already dead-drunk.


Teehee. Se mutha-f-n gusto. Not half bad! The man's got some talent don't he?

"I think you'd be better off at say the nearest Howard Johnson's management training course, you pathetic little fuck."

Aw yeahhhhhhhhhh.

Doctor Memory

(And thus did Narcissus waste away.)


"Care to play a game of schach for yr wife's cheap butt?"

YES! The ToS, in the house.


Already some crude imitations, outright porno, and lies appearing, however--not surprising. Ah have bookmarked it tho' and the IP addy, and as they say on Adam 12 (and as ah am aware of), anything YOU say/write/yawp {may} be used against you in a court of law.

Doctor Slack

I do love the smell of plagiarism in the morning.


brug.org. Underground. Scaweee! Baton Rouge. LSU perhaps. Now, who else might come from LSU? None other than Scottiemann the LIT. Poodle! Bookmarked.

number number number

PLay-jarism? Phuck u, u grovelling school-flunkie bag of human excrement. I've been bloggin' for over 3 years, fnook. An early blog of mine was "how to recognize the faux-liberal and chichi literatteur-ironist." Google 'er. Yr another two-bit LIT. opportunist, yakuzizzy fizzy.

Doctor Slack

Oh, for the record: if the IP doesn't match my post of 1:56, it isn't me.

I'm pleased to see the ToS comment generator coming together. Sweet!


Sweet! Like you, fag. Like plagiarism, lying, and crime do ya? Read the few real quotes, little man, however, for some tips on how to write. It's been bookmarked, Evidence in the case against Scottie the Lit Poodle and his Meyer Lansky-lite cronies. And plenty of lies courtesy of Holbo too. So smile, Doc, you could be subpoena'ed.

Doctor Memory

Remember how I qualified my comment on the lameness of anonymous threats of a a beatdown by saying that they were "pretty much" the pinnacle of non-threatening? An excellent example of why it's best not to speak in absolutes, for as One-Drink-After-909 has just reminded us, there is in fact one thing even less intimidating:

Anonymous threats of lawsuits. Oooh, scaaaary. (Where by scary we mean: hilarious.)

We eagerly await the cease and desist order from the firm of Peresozo, Phred, 808 and 101010101010 (et al), attorneys at the bar. Will it come on a napkin or a disposable coaster? Can we get it with a marichino cherry, or a twist of lemon?

To John: Best thread ever. I'm curious though: is this enough to keep him fully occupied, or does he still infect the other places?


Lil Doc Goebbels, you no ethicist, no wit, no kultur vultur, no intellectual, jus' like yr no thinker. Yr a cheap bidness major, Radio Shack dweeb, like yr galpal Doc S. But I do got yr number here, next to the IP from Holbo's site, and the e-mails for his sooper out at the Island escuela (and scottmann the LIT poodle's too).

You think the little XHTML plagiarism-bot pretty deep fag? I think it's phunny too, like you. and it's about to your level of chester-like manga-entertainment. Make sure to memorize the few real quotes: you'll know the real ones--they are the ones which say something like you're a useless lil' phuck, phratboy.

Foghorn, Shatterer of Worlds

Ah say ah say watch yoah mouth, son! That theyah's plagiarism, see! Thought that's a crime! Y'get it? Thought! Crime! Thoughtcrime! That's a pun! Ah say a play on words! Laugh, son! Ah made a funny! Nice boy but yer 'bout as sharp as a pound a wet liver! An' yer also a faux-liberal nazi marxist continentalist snitch phratass poodleboi! With the glaven!

Doctor Memory

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the adventures of Beauregard Phlackmeister, the Two-Fisted Philospher: spreading truth, justice and the analytical way by dropping names of authors, copping a wanksta pose, and promising to beat people up (after he's sued them). Soon to be serialized by Kitschen Sink Press. Reserve your copies today!

You've got my number? Capital! Do feel free to call. I'll know you by the heavy breathing, no doubt.


Ah love the sound of lapdogs yipping. Yip, Doc, Yap!

Yr a greasy, tasteless lil' fuck, like the rest of the Cooked Timber chesterz.

Doctor Memory

Now now, Mr. Brummell. You may not have noticed, but the bar has been raised a bit: now that the ToSoMatic is here, you have to be at least this amusing to ride the Mixer. If you're not even as funny as your unauthorized remix, what's the point?

Keep hitting refresh, maybe you'll get a new idea. As someone noted a while back, you have a nasty habit of repeating yourself.

Doctor Memory

(BTW, I have to return to my actual job shortly. Someone else will have to take over trollsitting duties around 6pm PDT. Remember: the website you save could be your own.)

Holofernes X the Malevolent

Yr the comedian here, Doc. You work for me. I get your name, where you work, er, where you swindle and racketeer, I'll have your cheap geek-arse pink-slipped the next day. Ah suspect you're a crooked timber loozer. So it's jus'a matter of time.

Iron Lungfish

No, no, it's not working for me anymore, Phred. I hate to say it but... I'm just not feeling it anymore. The last couple replies just paled in comparison with your automated counterpart's - and the sad fact is there's nothing you can do that the robot you can't do better and faster. I think the romance has gone out of our relationship.


"AS a matter of fact, one has a presumed right to the writing one produces online, and to publish without consent is an intellectual property theft or something of the sort." For that matter, moderation of comments on one's site is also a presumed right, but one which you denounce as censorship. That is, you don't think it should be a right. Or at least it is a right that is shameful/immoral to exercise. Yet here we are. You ARE a coffee cup J. Edgar. And, although all this is amusing, I am frankly getting a bit bored with it. In your last comment you hint that I you are getting ready to email my superiors - and what? complain that you have been leaving obscene, disruptive comments at my site? Complain that I asked permission to republish words that you freely published at my site? Complain that you ordered me to discuss Quine, admixing obscenities and insults, and I didn't comply? (I don't relish the thought of trying to explain to my department head about how it is sometimes hard to lose a troll, but I don't think hm actually looking at such a thread as this is likely to produce anything but a wondering - why do you bother responding at all?)

Look, there is a solution to this, Phrumious. If you are so upset with your treatment here, no one is forcing you to comment. If the quality of the conversation is insufficiently analytically edifying, which seems to be your point, there are other sites on the web. For that matter, there are literally millions of sites where they are not discussing Quine - or, as you put it, where "they've been ducking the real topic for years." Are there any good grounds for objecting to Quinean radical empiricism, whether on grounds of analyticity, a prioriness, modality, definitions, "intuitions"?

I would not care to discuss it with you because I am reasonably sure that, if we disagreed, you would simply swear at me. (Surely you agree that this is, indeed, what you would do.) Why would that be fun for me?


What an entertaining comments thread! When last I checked this page, on Saturday, I was dismayed by the bandersnatch's proclamation in comment 17: "Whatevah. I'm pretty much finished posting here." Imagine my relief when I return today and find 124 comments. It's especially appropriate that the title references "reasonable creature." Might I suggest a revision to that line?

In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and

now is the whole man governed with one: so that if

he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him

bear it for a difference between himself and his

random quote generator.

Scott Eric Kaufman

Evidence in the case against Scottie the Lit Poodle and his Meyer Lansky-lite cronies.

I confess. I did take scour the Internets for representative quotations from the Troll of Sorrow and whip up a little something which would distribute them. I'm not exactly sure what's actionable about that, since the words are freely available on the internet and I'm not using them for profit.

For the record, though, since I'm not sure which Troll is the real Troll in the above, I can't add any of his new material, if it is "his," into the generator. However, everyone else is welcome to add 100% Authentic Troll of Sorrow Vitriol in as you please. Eventually, we can render his actual presence unnecessary!

Night of the Flying Monkeys

Ah love the sound of swine snortin.' And the Holboster's predictable Voice of Authori-tay. There's no troll, first off. There's plagiarism tho.' And I doubt you have a detailed and robust refutation of Quinean empiricism; indeed, ah already have an inkling what it is. But that ain't the point; the point izz, as indicated a few delicious dozen posts above, "I get; I give." This be mutual combat, daddie-o. Not jus' involvin' you, and the skirmish did not commence with this thread. There is a group of small-time script kidlets visitin' here, and it appears there may be some connection to the Poodle, AKA squat. So, like, the sheet is on, and be sure to keep the lamps trimmed 'n a burnin,' your n-map updated, yr drives washed, and yr invisible chinee proxies a' changin.'


OK, let me actually make this more explicit. Since the ToS now admits to respecting people's rights to their stuff, I formally request that Phred/Phrumious etc. not comment to J&B any more. As the proprietor of this site, I hereby make my wishes known. This is my stuff, and I'm tired of it getting covered in his stuff. If Phred etc. is serious about respecting my wishes about my stuff, he will respect this request and not force me to attempt to ban him, or institute comment moderation.

As to the random generator, I sort of suspect it's fair use, so long as it's not-for-profit. You can certainly quote something someone has said in a public place, without asking their permission. In the case of CT and the Valve and a few other places, the material has in fact already been released under a CC license. So non-commercial use with attribution (the generator does give the name of the author) is cleared in advance. And that is my layman's legal opinion, for what it's worth. I actually have no desire to go into the coffee cup business. That was just a thought-experiment. I'm putting a fork in this thread. It's done.

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  • This edited version of our comment policy is effective as of May 10, 2006.

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    We're testing a strong CC license as a form of troll repellant. Does that sound strange? Read this thread. (I know, it's long. Keep scrolling. Further. Further. Ah, there.) So basically, we figure trolls will recognize that selling coffee cups and t-shirts is the best revenge, and will keep away. If we're wrong about that, at least someone can still sell the cups and shirts. (Sigh.)