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October 30, 2008


Rich Puchalsky

"lying in a field with his pants around his ankles, and his asshole burning"

Why does every nutjob winger have this fantasy about Obama doing this to them? Seriously, the black, male whores of the nation must be really tired of hearing some pasty white guy under them scream "Obama, no". That must be why the guy is worried about reducing his credit footprint -- with all of those recent charges, his church will probably catch on soon.

The Modesto Kid

Wow, thanks -- I hadn't clicked through from Protein Wisdom to get the full power of the Tarwater allusion. So obviously once the patriots of America are knocked out and raped by Obama, they will awaken with their soul purified, return to the abandoned farm and take up their crazy uncle's mantle of prophecy.

Dave Maier

Obama's been rendered "peckish"? Well, reefer will do that.

And the "second monkey"? Sheesh. Never mind the dog-whistle; he can't even get the image right. What a maroon.


I only wish Obama were plying us w/ Whiskey and reefer! I'd enjoy that more the policy and commercials. This sort of stuff, while clearly insane, is perhaps more common than we think. A seemingly sane, if obviously conservative, man I met recently in Alabama, a young guy, college educated, was very worried about Obama being president because he was very, very worried about where "racial preferences" and "favoritism for blacks" would end. He didn't want to say where he thought it would end, but it was pretty clear that there were camps (and not the fun summer kind!) for whites involved.


Also, Obama is turning sane people into werewolves? Is he doing it personally, by biting them with his werewolf-infected bite, or in some more indirect way? And why can't it be vampires? If I had the choice I'd rather be a vampire than a werewolf.

Anatoly Vorobey


This is... wow.

ben wolfson

Might of?!

Rich Puchalsky

"A seemingly sane, if obviously conservative, man I met recently in Alabama, a young guy, college educated, was very worried about Obama being president because he was very, very worried about where "racial preferences" and "favoritism for blacks" would end."

He was probably worried that if Obama showed favoritism for blacks, he'd never get to be the one plied with whiskey and reefer and waking up with that burn you-know-where.


O'Connor consistently uses "might of" and "would of" in the written dialogue of that story. I think this an interesting case, as those would be mistakes that the characters would make in writing, but they are indistinguishable in speech. M. John Harrison does this in one of his novels, and it's also in several Cormac McCarthy texts. I wrote a blog post about it, and Harrison commented that he did hear a difference in the pronunciation of "would of" and "would've."

The Modesto Kid

Ben, the reference is to "A Good Man is Hard to Find".

Comrade W. Kiernan

So now it's clearly the duty of all faithful Party members to search and investigate and acquire this "Velociman's" real-world name and address and IP address and mortgage information and Social Security number and credit card numbers, and report them all to Obama Party HQ, so that after the coup, our Master can hunt him down and exact a fitting and well-deserved revenge, against this "Pro-American" upstart who dares to criticize Him.

We'll get right to work, Master! You wish is our command! YES WE CAN!!!1!


I might of been upset by some choices have wording you maked?

anyhowdeedo.. maybe the wingnut anal rape fantasy explains McCain's earlier reference to his fellow prisoners? It was a dog-whistle to let them know they would soon be sharing a cell with a black man!!!! wooo.


So glad to entertain you. Now if you can grasp hyperbole and satire, scroll my archives. I'm really sorry if my freedom of expression has so enraged or offended you. I really had a lot of fun writing that post, and as a usually apolitical blogger, it was especially fun. Send more traffic my way! You folks have finaly coalesced my business model.

All the best,



Velociman -
Your so-called "freedom of expression" doesn't enrage us. We just feel a little sad for you that you're apparently not getting any help (i.e. psychotropics, for a starter) for these episodes of paranoia and hysteria.

Grasp hyperbole and satire? We would if it were there. Except for a few self-dissing comments, the satire was approximately non-existent. On the other hand, your "writing" is a veritable font of cluelessness.

If the additional traffic really does "coalesce" [sic] your business model, you ought to consider professional help. I hear they now have meds that can help bring you back to this world.

Of course, if you decide to stay where you are (figuratively speaking), maybe we can hook you up with Pam Geller.


Here's some more vintage wingnuttery:

Rich Puchalsky

You wish we were enraged and offended, rather than, say, laughing at you.

David Moles

He will spend his waking hours thereafter not pursuing the legitimate goals of state, but punishing those who would dare to oppose him.

Somebody missed Bill Clinton's speech at the Florida rally the other night.

The man is devoid of humility, or any sense of humor.

And the Daily Show earlier that evening.

You folks have finaly coalesced my business model.

And the bit of English grammar that covers the difference between transitive and intransitive.


That's right. If my opinion differs from yours, I obviously need psychiatric help. You aren't very liberal, at least when it comes to tolerance of other worldviews. Or even other senses of humor. I don't wish ill upon you. It is a testament, however, to your incapacity for another's opinion that you feel compelled to label me mentally ill.

Go fuck yourself, bigot.

All the best,



Yeah, all you meanies are trying to take away velociman's freedom of expression by, by, laughing at him. It's like all those anti-freedom newspapers oppressin' on Sarah Palin's freedom of speech by quotin' her.

The Modesto Kid

No don't you get it, mcmc? The oppression lies not in the mockery but in the thinking he is crazy. By thinking V-man is crazy we are exposing ourselves as would-be prosecutors of thought crime. I am Big Brother. We are all Big Brother.


Some time in the late 80's or early 90's the conservative model changed from actual 'conservatism' to some sort of weird cult of hatred and victimhood. (Actually Nixon started the ball rolling with his 'silent majority', but it didn't really flower for another 20 years.) Now we watch a campaign for president that puts forth almost zero in terms of policy and is almost entirely built on fear of the 'other' and claims of victimization. I would welcome a conservative party that actually battled on the basis of ideas instead of whining, puling, self-pity but I won't hold my breath.

Rich Puchalsky

So, now it's after the election. Has Obama gotten around to democracy, whiskey, sodomy with the V-man yet? I'll be disappointed if that isn't part of the first hundred days.


Velociman -
Sorry to make you wait for a response. I usually ignore nutcases like you, unless I think I can drive them even further over the edge.

No matter.

If my opinion differs from yours, I obviously need psychiatric help.
No, it's because your writing evinces your tenuous grip on reality. Obama is a hater? It would seem that the only evidence for that is the little voices in your head, because nothing else - other than the spittle-flecked ravings of Confederate Yankee, Ace of Spuds, Hannity, et al. - has shown that to be the case.

You aren't very liberal, at least when it comes to tolerance of other worldviews.
I tolerate other worldviews just fine. It's the irrational ravings of the reich wingers that get to me a little.

It is a testament, however, to your incapacity for another's opinion that you feel compelled to label me mentally ill.

No, it's testament to your nutjob ravings. Were your ravings closer to rational thought (but I guess they wouldn't be ravings, then, would they?), I would not feel compelled to comment.

I don't wish ill upon you.
Go fuck yourself, bigot.

Is it bigoted to call someone on their (i.e. your) bullshit? Nine out of ten wingnuts say "No!". I guess you must be that tenth wingnut.

There's an old saying, you may have heard it, but you certainly don't follow it:

Don't fuck with eagles if you don't know how to fly. (Metaphorically speaking, that is).

Just because you're a wingnut doesn't mean you actually have wings, you know.

So anyway, V-man: you're a beautiful human being, man. Maybe we should call you The Dude, or Your Dudeness, because you're so mellow.

For a borderline psycho, that is.

Peace out, Dude.


V-man -
There's one thing I forgot to mention.

One of the hallmarks of Bush/Cheney/Rove, and wingnuts in general, is their projection (in the psychological sense). In case that term is new to you: projection is when a person "projects" his own issues/neuroses/psychoses onto another person, in part for the purpose of hating the projectee. It has been a prime component of that wonderful Rovian tactic known as "ratfucking". When your formerly-AWOL-from-the-Texas-Air-National-Guard Preznit's surrogates SwiftBoated John Kerry, that was a type of projection.

Think about that, next time you call anyone a bigot.

Julian Elson

The part I found most disappointing was that Velociman's plan in response to impending American tyranny is to run and hide.

I mean, come on -- you may not be a tough guy, but at least pretend to be one on the Internet!

The Smiler has just gotten elected to the presidency. Vita Severn is dead. What does our hero do? Find the Truth and get it out, even if it means losing everything, publishing his articles with any feedsite that will take them?

No, no. Just run off to the mountain and hide from the world.

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